GOING TO BE TAKING A BREAK BEFORE NIPPLE RECONSTRUCTION!

Well after seven surgeries and five saline injections, I am happy with the outcome. It's been close to a year when I went for my mammogram and shortly there after was diagnosed with dcis. So much has happened, it all seems a blur to me. As you scroll down to the pictures you will see my progress at each stage. I had two surgeries prior to the mastectomy, they could not get a clear margin and had to remove my left breast. I decided to have both removed. I would not want to go through this again.

Just so you know what happened in September, I'll give you a little info. I had the exchange on the 24th and two days later my left side started to get inflamed and I was running a fever. I went to the doctors office and he made an appointment for me the next day to have the implant removed. It was MRSA, a potentially dangerous viral infection. I most likely got it from the hospital. Dr. Pope said at that time that I would need to wait another three months before he could operate again. What a mess!!!

In December, the doctor put another implant in on the left side with no problems and I scheduled an appointment for nipple reconstruction six weeks later. Well if you look at the pictures, you'll see that my right side was wondering over to my arm pit and the left side dropped. Another mess. Dr.Pope, without thinking twice, once again scheduled me for surgery to resolve the problems. As you can see, he did a good job.

I would like to give a little advice to any women who might be facing breast cancer. First of all, please know that we are all different. Please understand your rights as far as your insurance is concerned. Know that you have an experienced Plastic Surgeon as well as a Breast doctor. They are two separate people with different expertise. Take a little time and breathe....It's a shock to be told that you have cancer. I wish that I had been more informed. The attitude is hurry up and get it done. It is very important not to wait to long but do some research and find the RIGHT people to help you!!! If anybody would like to ask me questions or needs any help, please don't hesitate to ask. God Bless you All

Deborah.....

Road To Recovery

Not much to say right now except, I Love You All......

I Know, I Know.....My Right Side Looks GREAT!!!!

I was talking to Mom yesterday on the phone complaining about how much I hate my new boob. She told me that I should take a picture, with my clothes on, so that I could see for myself what I looked like dressed. Understand that I realize that you all are saying to yourselves,"what in the heck is she bitching about"? Well first, I don't mean to bitch. I guess that I am just worried that I will not be able to work with the implants. I use my pectoral muscles all the time while working and it seems to me that the implants will get in my way. Also, I am trying to picture a nipple on my new boob. If I go that route, it looks like my nipple would be headed to the outsides of my body, NO? I'm not sure. Anyway, I went to the Breast Cancer Blog this morning where women have posted their picture of their progress and I have to say to myself this morning, "SHUT UP DEBORAH"! I mean in comparison, my plastic surgeon did a GREAT JOB....I am truley ashamed of myself for worrying so much when there are so many people who have gone through so much more. I am Thankful that I no longer have cancer and that I have the best doctor anybody could possibly have. I have another two months before my next surgery. I am going to stop worrying and see how I feel then.

Crying?

For the first time in my life I opened my eyes yesterday morning and immediately started to cry. It took me by complete surprise. Crying? In the morning? I love waking up to a new day! I don't need coffee to cheer me up. Don't get me wrong, I love my coffee but I also love mornings.

So after a minute or two it dawns on me that, yes I have a really ugly breast. I have to actually go through another 5 months of reconstruction on my left side weather I like it or not. I have deal with this. I don't like it. I'm really pissed off about it. I JUST WANT TO BE DONE WITH IT! I want to go to work and FLEX some muscle. I want to jump on a beach bike and ride as fast as I can in the middle of the night, chasing the light of the moon with the ocean mist in my face....... I wanna

But let me tell you guys something.....Kathy, one of my closet friends woke up this morning. She wasn't crying. Kathy was getting ready to attend a fund raiser. She lost her 28 year old son a few months back and her day would be spent honoring Chris. God Bless Her and Her Family!

Today, I'm thankful for all God has given me......

So, What Do You Think People????

Yesterday was a very long day for both Freddy and I. Woke up at 5 am anxiously awaiting my operation. At 12 noon, Freddy dropped me off at the hospital and headed over to MD Anderson for a follow up shot to help build his white blood cells. He made it back just in time to give me a kiss. Lucky Me! (he he) I Love Him So Much!

Dr.Pope came in to the pre-op room so that he could make his marks on me. He was sitting there looking at my breast, cocks his head to one side, pauses then cocks his head to the other side. It felt funny but I could tell how important it was for him to get it right. He then asked if I was ready, I said,"Lets go doc". Actually I said, " Yes, I am so ready. Thank You Dr. Pope for expediting this so fast. I really appreciate it. You just don't know, yadda yadda yadda and so on". He knowingly smiled at me. Dr. Pope is a very humble and caring man. I'm blessed that he is my Plastic Surgeon.

Three and a half hours later, I woke up. I was amazed at how much pain I was in. When I had the mastectomy Dr.Pope put lidocaine tubes in me so there was very little pain. This time he didn't so I had to deal with pain.The nurses were so good. They gave me everything I needed and discharged me knowing I just wanted to get home. When we got home, Freddy made me sit and stay on the couch. He took care of me all night.

Last night I woke up every hour as usual but I felt pretty good. Got up this morning at 4 and had the best cup of coffee. Damn it was good! I feel like a near million bucks. What's that, 999,999.95 ? That's compared to what I have been feeling like. Anyway, I'll be able to sleep with Freddy soon and give him a hug when I feel like it. WooHoo!!! I CAN'T WAIT

August 15, 2009

One Tuesday I went for my last fill. I was given 100 cc. on the right side to even these bowling balls out. You may notice that they kind of spread out to my sides. Dr. Pope said he'll rein them in somewhat. I was so happy going to see the doctor because I knew that I would also be scheduled for my exchange on the same day. Yoohoo!!! I was thinking I'd have to sleep with these breast for another month or so but after talking to Dr. Pope, he said we could expedite the exchange.....

I was asked to meet with Lori. She is the person who schedules all of Dr. Popes appointments. I sat and waited for like a half an hour and was getting real impatience. She finally came out and asked if I wanted to do the exchange on Thursday. I'm sure I looked completely confused. I said, "this Thursday"? Double Yoohoo!!!

This is hard to explain but I'll try. It's been exactly 52 days since I had my breast removed. This expanders are not only uncomfortable, they hurt. And they are not mine. I have spent three months worrying about what my breast will look like when they are finished. To Big, to Small, Lopsided. Maybe they will be to hard. Maybe Freddy will hate them. Maybe I will hate them. After all the conversations I've had with Dr.Pope, I'm still terrified that they won't be right. Today is the day we'll find out. Now of course it will take a couple of weeks for my new breast to heal and for me to get use to them but at least they will be OUT OF MY FACE! I'll no longer look like a football quarterback!

This will be one of those days in my life that I'll never forget!   YOOHOOOOOO!

Missing A Very Simple Human Activity, HUGS!!!!!

Sorry all it's taken so long to post these pictures. I am at 700 cc. and going for 100 more. After talking to my PS's assistant last Tuesday, hopefully I will be able to transfer the expanders out approxamently 5 weeks from now. I Pray to God that is the case!!

Went up to visit my sister Sandy and family in Georgia last week-end. We were able to see almost all of the family. Of course when we see each other, WE HUG! What a pain in the butt. I LOVE to hug people. All people I know and some that I've just met. Well let me tell you something. It's impossible to hug people with these boobs!!! Yes, we can do a little (oooh don't hurt me hug) but that big ole bear hug is out.....I keep wanting to hug Freddy my husband and for get it. What A Pain In The Ass...grrrrr. Feels like a brick wall between us. So let me give you a little advice. The next time someone is going to give you a hug.... Live It, Feel It!!!!